Something Short of a Shag
by Renai-chan
Summary: My take on the classic mistletoe prank D Marauders vs. the Weasley twins D RLSBJP. AU. SLASH. R&R!


A little something thrown together while I was bored. SLASH. RLSBJP.

Enjoy!

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Something Short of a Shag

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A small noise bleeped from inside Fred's pocket. Upon hearing it, a wide smile found its way over his lips, matching the one pasted on George's face. He pulled out a small beeper and scanned the words that were scrolling across its screen. Not before long, his smile dropped, as did his jaw, while his eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Georgre frowned and grabbed the beeper, scanning it as well.

*Defense Against the Dark Arts corridor - Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter*

"My, my my! What big fish we have caught!" he remarked with a mischievous smile. Fred, having got over his initial shock, matched his twin's smile with his own before standing up and happily bounding out of the Great Hall with George not far behind.

"What's got into them?" asked a befuddled Harry wwho was watching them from the moment the beeper beeped. Ron shrugged.

"Beats me. Maybe something to do with that mistletoe prank they've been pulling these past few days."

"What mistletoe prank?" Hermione asked.

***

Fred and George rounded the corner of the DADA corridor and saw their victims smack dab in the middle of it, pounding on an invisible barrier that prevented them from moving from their current spot. They grinned at each other and neared with skips of merriment.

"Well, George, look who we have here" Fred said loudly. Three heads whirled around to face them and thre pairs of eyes shot daggers. "I believe it's our competition." George chuckled.

"So it is, so it is."

"I thought we agreed not to play pranks on each other!" Sirius barked.

"But Sirius, we didn't play a prank on you. We were playing one on the entire school. You were simply a casualty" Fred pointed out with a wry grin. Sirius was about to retort, but found that the twins were right on some counts.

"But you could still have told us what it was so we could have avoided these... traps?" James shot back instead.

"Ah, but Mr. Potter, would you have done the same for us and risked a great prank leaking out into the school? Of course you would try to protect your little boy so you would have told him, and he would have told someone else and so forth and so on until the prank was no longer a prank at all" George answered.

"Why did you have to include me in this?! Aren't I simply a judge?" Remus cried out in annoyance.

"But professor, as I said you were simply a casualty. You aren't the first professor to get trapped you know" George declared with a highly amused grin.

"You didn't" Sirius stared at them a flicker of awe in his eyes, "Who'd you get stuck in here?"

"Why none other than Albus Dumbledore and Minerve McGonagall, if we do say so ourselves" Fred crowed proudly. Remus frowned.

"So how did they get out? And what is this..." he rapped on the barrier with his knuckles "...anyway?"

"Our proudest creation!" Fred and George proclaimed loudly and proudly. A few students had started to gather around them as they caught sight of the trio caught in the trap. A few of them had had experience with it and were now staring amusedly. Other simply clapped at Fred and George's proclamation and were whispering among themselves about how the trap worked. "You see, in the spirit of Christmas, we decided that a Christmas tradition should be upheld seriously and solemnly."

"With this, we decided to create barriers underneath the mistletoe we scattered all over the campus so that it would not free the trapped until they put the mistletoe to good use" George added to Fred's explanation. Remus's eys started to widen while Sirius and James simply looked impressed at the idea.

"So... so you mean?" Remus gestured between himself and Sirius, to which the twins nodded. "But-but we can't! There are... students! Yeah, students around" he gestured wildly to the crowd around them that was quickly growing.

"Well, you do have a choice" George started, to which Remus exhaled in relief. "You can either snog each other senseless for three minutes--"

"WHAT?!" came three enraged cries.

"Didn't we mention that that was the only way to break the barrier?" Fred asked, knowing full-well that it was the first time they had mentioned it. "Yeah, none of that pecking stuff. It has to be something short of a shag for the barrier to release you. And you can't fool it."

"It took us ages to find the spell and get it right" George thought of pointing out. The two black-haired boys in the trap were looking mightily impressed.

"Well, whaddya know? I believe, Mr. Prongs, that these two boys here have thought up a prank that can be deemed worthy of Marauder standards!" Sirius smiled, folding his arms over his chest. Remus rightly smacked him upside the head, which the animagus rubbed.

"Stop encouraging them and get them to let down the sodding barrier!" he scolded.

"But that's where the beauty of our prank lies!" Fred started, a gleam in his eye, "There is nothing we, or anybody else can do! There is no spell that can break this enchantment! We have mentioned the only thing that will break it, and it's up to you to do that. Which brings me to your second option. You can, of course, wait it out. The spell will eventaully die down." Remus was about to ask for how long when George interrupted with the answer.

"In four weeks!" They twins burst out laughing and slapped each other high fives.

"Then that will be how long your detention lasts when I get out of here" Remus growled threateningly.

"Nonesense, Professor Lupin" came the mellow voice of the headmaster himself. The three adults turned to Dumbledore who was walking toward them with a knowing twinkle in his eyes. "I don't think this kind of merry-making warrants the punishment of detention. It is, after all in the spirit of Christams, is it not, Mr. Fred and Mr. George?" To which the twins nodded eagerly.

"But headmaster! Surely you will not permit this... this defamation of character of a member of the faculty?!" Remus cried in horror. Sirius mouthed to James 'defamation of character?'. The stag simply shrugged.

"I believe, Mr. Lupin, that you are making much too big a deal of this than it actually is. These young sirs intended no harm after all" Dumbledore replied calmly with a smile. Remus growled low in his throat, something that sounded suspiciously like 'sodding little voyeurs'.

"Oi, Harry!" Sirius greeted, waving wildly at his godson while James gave a smaller wave. Harry, Ron and Hermione moved to the front of the crowd while Remus slapped Sirius again, to which the trio grinned amusedly.

"You are making this far harder than it should be by calling your godson to watch!" he scolded. "I'd rather wait here than snog in front of everyone" he huffed.

"Nonesense, Remus. You can't expect us to remain here for four weeks do you? Moody would have our heads on the chopping block" James laughed, clearly amused at the werewolf.

"And do you honestly think that I would snog this idiot here in front of my students?! How would I keep their respect after that?" Remus demanded gesturing wildly to Sirius before tunring to him, snarling, "This is all your fault for challenging the Weasley boys!" Sirius simply chuckled and moved the werewolf's arm out of the way before whispering:

"You do realize that they want their prey to feel embarassed. That's where their prank would hit a high note." Remus frowned as Sirius continued "If we put on a show, then their prank would fail." Before the DADA professor could react, Sirius gathered him up in his arms and pushed him against the barrier, pressing their mouths and their bodies together. Remus rested his hands on Sirius's chest, inteding to push him away, but failed to do so while the animagus devoured his lips. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus's waist and pried his lips open with his tongue, needing no permission to invade his lover's mouth. His tongue stroked the werewolf's teeth, taking more time over the canines that were slightly more pronounced than his, before moving to the less-than stationary tongue. Remus, completely forgetting his earlier protests, ran his hands through the thick black hair, entangling his fingers and moaning softly. It was a while before someone coughed to break them up. They saw James leaning against the barrier grinning amusedly.

"Wow" someone in the crowd murmured, to which Remus blushed brilliantly. Fred and George still seemed happier than they should be after angering a werewolf.

"I thought you said this would come down after they 'snogged each other senseless for three minutes', I believe were your exact words" James questioned.

"Ah, yes" Fred laughed, "The barrier would come down after *all* the participants snogged each other senseless for three minutes."

"Holymotherof--" Sirius slapped a hand over Remus's mouth before any swear words could be emitted. Nonetheless, James took over as he mimicked what Sirius did earlier with a tad less force and a little more sensuality. Remus was drawn into his arms, his chin tipped up and his lips enveloped in a pair of amused lips. James wrapped one hand around the back of the werewolf's neck and deepened the kiss gradually. His tongue darted out to swipe against his partner's lower lip, seeking entrance which Remus could help but give. Soft moans intermingled as their tongues stroked one another. Slowly (and a bit reluctantly) they pulled away.

"Its bad enough that I have to deal with this at home every holiday, must you do this at school too?" came a feigned sigh and an amused smile from Harry. Remus glared pointedly once more at the Weasley brothers.

"Blame Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum over there" he growled. The pair gave their best 'who me?' faces. Nevertheless, Remus sighed and turned to James and Sirius. "Get it over with already so I can lock myself up in my office for the next few days while I salvage my dignity." The black-haired pair simply laughed and gave each other a rather long three-minute peck on the lips. In an instant, the barrier fell and the trio stumbled out into the corridor.

"Hey! What did you do?" the twins cried.

"'What did we do' what?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"How did you get the barrier down without snogging something short of a shag?" Fred asked back. Sirius and James glanced at one another and burst out laughing. Remus replied in their stead, a grin on his lips.

"But, Mr. Weasleys, for those two, that _was_ something short of a shag." Matching nods confirmed his statement before the brunets practically dragged their lover away to make good of their kiss.


End file.
